Poem

How much I must criticize you, my church
and yet how much I love you!
You have made me suffer more than anyone
and yet I owe more to you than to anyone.
I should like to see you destroyed
and yet I need your presence.
You have given me much scandal
and yet you alone have made me understand holiness.

Never in this world have I seen anything more compromised, more false,
yet never have I touched anything more pure,
more generous or more beautiful.
Countless times
I have felt like slamming the door of my soul in your face
and yet every night,
I have prayed that I might die in your sure arms!

No, I cannot be free of you,
for I am one with you,
even if not completely you.
Then too-where would I go?
To build another church?
But I could not build one without the same defects.
And again, if I were to build another church
It would not be my church, not Christ’s church.
No. I am old enough. I know better!
-Carlo Carretto-